This is just my take on it, but here's my 2-cents.
If she refers to this as "Ladies that Lunch"...then it ought to be just that. Now that H's & BF's and mutual male friends are being allowed to tag along....you SHOULD be invited to....at least have the option of going if you wished.
Ya know...there are times I meet up with my girlfriends for drinks after work, or dinner....but my H is ALWAYS invited along if he wishes to go. Most of the time he tells me to go have fun with my friends, but he is ALWAYS invited and welcome to join me.
You need to tell her how this feels to you, that you feel like it's now become something different and you feel excluded.
