Ladies that lunch

[Brian_M]

konfused:
Thanks for the suggestions. I actually know the guys that go very well. Thus, I know we get along well

Haphazard:
would you really like to go? Or would you just like to go because you'd like to be invited?
I think it is more that I would like to be invited. I just think it is kind of rude the way my W purposely excludes me sometimes. Yes, we both need our personally lives separate from each other. Though, in this case, the guys are all my poker buddies. In fact, several asked me before why I did not attend.

How are you doing otherwise Brian?
Thanks for asking. On the positive, we are still married. Plus, my W has taken a tremendous initiative with our intimate life. In fact, my W has initiated ever time for the last few weeks. It has been fantastic there. On the negative, a little while back, my W admitted that she has very little respect for me any more. After thinking that statement over and strategizing with my IC, I have shifted to taking a very alpha approach to dealing with her. When she pulls her self-centered or passive aggressive punishing BS I have been nailing her to the wall for it. In addition, I have completely stopped all romantic gestures or extra things I normally do to try and maker her happy. I am now operating on bare minimum to get by so that she will wake up and appreciate all the things I do for her. For example, for the last 6 years, I have done nearly all the cooking. Not any more. Now, I make my W get in there and do it too. In summary, there is progress, but I would not want to place odds on this working yet either.

Lillie:
Yes, she specifically excluded me by telling me it was a “girls get-together”.
Why don't you just GO?
You know, that is a good point. Why do I really need an invitation? If the event is unisex and the guys there are my friends too, then it does not matter if my W is considerate enough to include me or not. I think what I am going to do is not say anything for now. Though, when the next one comes up, I will ask my W to check with her friends and find out if H’s are going. If so, then, I am going to just ask what time I should meet them all there. What do you think? Does this avoid confrontation but still get the point across in the right way?

and when he died these were the women who rallied round me.
Oh geez Lillie…. you have been through so much.