Ladies that lunch

[Brian_M]

Here is a tough one I would love feedback on. My W has a ritual where every month she engages in what she calls, “ladies that lunch”. My W tells me that she makes plans to meet up with her gal palls for a lunch thing. Of course, I think it is great that she wants to get out with her friends and do social things. Though, the funny thing is that her engagements frequently turn into unisex lunches where her friends bring along boyfriends and husbands. In fact, one husband goes along nearly every time. Thus, it is obviously not a ladies only event. Even stranger is that in some cases my W even knows that mutual male friends will be coming along in advance, yet my W never invites me to join. Today for example, I even asked, will H X being coming along and my W said, “Oh, yes, I think he is coming”.

Now I feel kind of weird about her whole event because it is not what my W says it is. My W clearly has not indicated the event is a girls only thing to her friends. Actually, it seems to me that the only rule is that I don’t get to attend, even when my mutual friends do. Consequently, I am now bothered by this. What do you all think? Am I just being overly sensitive? Should I talk about this with my W? If so, what would a reasonable position be? Thanks for the feedback.