Karen, I wasn't even sure that you'd remember me. Those were rough times, eh? If you saw me then and saw me know you'd see that I even look differently now. The pain in my face is gone. My eyes have their sparkle back and my hair is shiny. I think I look younger now. Yes, that was the worse pain I've ever experienced in my life. However, the strength I have gained as a result of that pain is incredible. I really believe I can survive anything after that.
JW, Oh my God---that baby cannot be two already!!! I remember when the pregnancy was plagued with complications. Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago? I wish you much happiness with your little darling.
I am not in any hurry to do the grandparent thing. It will come soon enough, and I'd prefer to have it happen when I have lots of time to devote to doing a great job of being a grandma. I feel I'm still busy doing the parenting part as my youngest just turned 18. And then I want a break for a few years. My h on the other hand is really looking forward to being a grandparent. Well, I guess when it happens, it happens. But I am only 44, so I really CAN wait a few years to have a grandbaby to spoil.
Well, I was taking a break, and now must get back to work. Big hugs to all of you. Keep in touch. GG
Sorry for the delay in my response. It is great to hear from and about all of you... very dear people! My marriage continues to be strong, as we now focus on the problems of our 16 yr old son. The crisis in my marriage may have been resolved favorably, but it took a tremendous toll on our two children.( I don't think I can ever fully forgive my H for what he did to all of us,but I am working on it.) I shudder to think what would have happened had we divorced. In any case, adolescence is tough on all parents.
Take care & be happy...I think of you often! Jenny
Karen,GG,John's wife & Jenny: I jumped over here to read something positive for a change. Jenny - thanks for posting under my thread -Roller Coaster Ride under MLC. I am a Positive Person & need to read success stories like yours to keep the faith. I would appreciate any input you successful DBers have to give me. Mine is a tough one - H moved out 7 months ago in full blown MLc, after 25 years of M & 3 kids. He was having PA with co worker. They got an apt together in Nov after I told her H. I have made some big improvements this week. Please check out my story. Thanks. Barb
I'm one of quite a few wife's who are wondering about our H's lack of "that loving feeling".
All of the situations are different yet the same. The H stepped out of the Marriage and was involved in either EA, PA, or both. Now the H is back, the trust is being repaired, and the M is being rebuilt. There just one problem. . .the H maintains that he does not love the wife.
Is is really a matter of time? One step forward, two steps back?
Did you just maintain unconditional love during the whole process?
What about those OR talks?
Please share what you can about this part of rebuilding.
Hi Lily, It's great that your H is at home. Don't worry,his feelings will catch up in time.He has to heal and trust his own emotions again. Continue to use Dbing techniques,lovingly distance and do NOT initiate OR talks uinder any circumstances. Use active listening techniques to build a "friendship". Have patience and loads of PMA. It takes time...you can do it! Don't personalize his behavior. This is about him, not you!!!! Read Michele's bookks again. Work on enhancing your own abilities and talents.Dress and behave as if you were just starting your relationship. The old one is gone...it's time for a fresh start. Act "as if" he is your hero. Before you know it he will be madly "in love" with you again.Your work on yourself will be the catalyst!!!
Think back to the woman you were when he first met you and what attracted him early on. Grow and develop into the best person you can be and RELAX & ENJOY each day!
That's right Lily, trust in DBing techniques and take it day by day! Work on yourself....expand your horizons as all things are possible. Remember that "positive attracts positive".
