Your W sounds a bit like my H in the "right to have things of my own" department. Only his was that he "deserved" to have a motorcycle. He works hard, makes good money, does all of the repairs on house, cars, etc. So he "deserves" a Harley Davidson. Mind you, this was last year while he was having an affair. How in the world does one justify "deserving" anything while being in the midst of destroying the person you supposedly love? I finally gave in to him buying a motorcycle. We've had fun on it together. It is expensive. And it's also a reminder to me of what a jerk he was last year.
I wonder if your W was testing you in some way? Probably a test that you wouldn't have passed either way. Sometimes I think we need to stop analyzing everything he said/ she said. It gets exhausting. And you know what, we usually come to the wrong conclusion anyway. I know this DB'ing works, but don't you get tired thinking about every word that comes out of your mouth -- if it was the "right" thing to say and how will they take it?
I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. My M probably wouldn't be in such a mess if I were smarter.
Keep your chin up. You know in your heart things are getting better. It's just way too slow for you, I know.
