"I have no intention of burying the past. At least not wrt the lessons I have learned. All I’m referring to is that the present is so different than the past, and I want to use the present as a reference point for building our future. I want to bury the bad feelings – both hers and mine – and I don’t want to periodically dig ‘em up, dust ‘em off, and rehash ‘em."
Hi Andy-I really like what you say here....I wish it applied to my sit. You see, H says that I bring up old stuff and he doesn't appreciate it. I know I do. The reason I do is because I do not have any resolution to them. It's like my feelings get brushed aside and and I don't get any thing 'solved' or 'fixed' or 'changed'. Things start to build up and eventually I blow my top. Yes, I have explained this to him. He has nothing to say. I really want those 'learned lessons'. I am not a stupid woman (stupid is as stupid does) but I cannot figure out a way to get this resolution I so desire. I am trying, not too effectively, to resign myself to the fact that I may never get it. It's usually only once a month (cycle) that things get overwhelming, I have only blown my top 2-3 times in the past 6 months. Usually I just go dark for a week or so and he seems fine with that. Thyroid isn't the problem-had that well tested in conjunction with a cyst that was removed...I think it's a cycle thing, either that or I'm just plain nuts!
Gonna think about what you said some more and try and find those elusive resolutions....who knows, maybe they're right there staring back at me-like I can't see the forrest for the trees....
