quote:Originally posted by matilda: I know it's hard. There's only so much you can do, and that's frustrating. Ultimately, it will be your wife's decision to become emotionally intimate again. There's just no getting around that. All you can do is continue to show her that you are available for that intimacy and that it is as important to you as the physical intimacy.
I really admire you for all that you're doing to achieve those goals. Don't give up!
I really don’t want to give up, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s all I can do. Maybe this is as good as it gets. Maybe this is my success story. Like you said, we’re on the same team, walking the same path. Maybe it’s not the path I want, but maybe it’s not for me to decide which path we should take. Maybe we did take my path for the first half of our lives and it’s now W’s turn to decide.
All I can do is to continue to show her that I’m available for intimacy and that it’s as important to me as the physical intimacy. Maybe, but I just don’t know how anymore. I know exactly what you mean, Matilda when you describe that “she was thinking you only wanted one thing, and it wasn't emotional intimacy.” And I’ve changed my behavior to belay that perception.
But W knows me well enough to know that I’m not happy this way, and all the as-if behavior I can muster won’t fool her. In any case, I don’t want to fool her. Is that intimacy?
We have a friend (good ol’ TF from other threads) who is trying so hard to win back his W that he’s become a doormat. My W thinks that he’s gone too far, and I have to agree. Sometimes, I think that W feels like I’m doing the same thing.
Where’s the balance?
quote:Originally posted by matilda: It'll come back. Believe me, it will.
