I have often thought that the only way to deal with your sitch is for you to put your foot down. Your wife has had her cake and eaten it too for a really long time. I believe that you may actually find that when you put your foot down - say enough is enough - sell the house - set up a parenting plan that gives you equal access to the kids, start dating and making your wife take her 100% of her 50% share of responsibility for the kids, she will finally see what she has done and will probably want to rekindle your relationship. Whether you still want to do that or not after all this will remain to be seen.
I may sound hard now, and it is not my intention to do so, but plese listen up. Daddy, you have been in the situation a lot of women have found themselves over the centuries. You are "powerless" because you don't have any economic power in the relationship. Your wife pays the bills, your wife pays the mortage, your wife can do what she damn well pleases, because she has the economic power.
The only way you can go forward now is to take back your power, spiritually, economically and physically.
I know you've seen a lawyer before - go back and tell him/her you want to know what you would be entitled to in a divorce agreement.
So, you may not be able to keep the family home - you may have to get a smaller apartment. You may not be able to see your kids every day (initially) - but to date your wife has been able to have her own life while you looked after the kids 100% of the time - Daddy you have been enabling her affair with your fixation on being a stay-at-home dad.
Even stay at home parents are entitled to a life Daddy.
Take your power back my friend. Get good advice on what the best divorce option would be for you. Show your wife that you are not going to take her behaviours lieing down and there are consequences of her actions - spousal support, limited time with her children etc etc.
No more excuses daddy. This style of DBing hasn't been working for you - take it up a notch. Tell her enough is enough.
You deserve better. You deserve much much better.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
