W and I are trying to open up to each other. It’s tricky at this point because we have so little time to talk, and we’re misinterpreting each other a lot. I think we’re both trying to understand each other while not giving false impressions about our own feelings. I’m trying to “just be me”, but the “me” I’m projecting is not me.
Friday night, we went to a movie. On the way back, we were just being ourselves. I’m not quite sure what happened, but in the middle of some chit-chat, there was a palpable tension that arose. Some innocent statement got misinterpreted. I’m not even sure whose statement or whose interpretation, but things fell into sullen silence.
Last night, W was very empathetic about how hard it must be for me to always be the initiator. I replied that at least I can still ask. She said “Well, that’s one way of looking at it.” Later, we cuddled for quite awhile. We both want things to get better.
This morning, she kept asking me what I was thinking. She seemed to feel that I had something to say. I didn’t really. She then told me of some of the things I’ve been doing that makes her angry. We started to talk it out, but were interrupted by the kids.
So. You see. Just “being me” doesn’t work! It’s too open to interpretation.
This morning, I emailed her to clarify my feelings. Was that bad DBing? Perhaps, but it’s something new for me/us, so I just gotta wait and see if it works, eh?
