Hey DavidM; nice post. I read the first part earlier in the afternoon and just finished the last part. It sounds like you guys have a great relationship in terms of the kids and open communication. The fact you could ask her whether she truly didn't feel cherished and then offer your own specific examples of how you DID cherish her, is really good.
I think you did good Dbing there.
So many people say they get along better divorced than married because the pressure's off and you can actually communicate about the issues. If your wife does bring this up again, as you invited her to do, maybe you could ask her for specific examples of what you did or did not do, that caused her to feel uncherished. It may give both her and you a better understanding.
About her detaching more... boy can I relate...my Ex is doing the same, interspersed with fits of his emailing he'd like to reconcile. While he goes thru the yo-yo's, I'm going to do some detaching of my own and GAL. My new acronym, I learned today. All the best,
boy can I relate...my Ex is doing the same, interspersed with fits of his emailing he'd like to reconcile. While he goes thru the yo-yo's, I'm going to do some detaching of my own and GAL. My new acronym, I learned today. 
