So D was final a few weeks ago... two days later I had to call (X)W about the kids... I had just picked them up and they were both in the gritchiest moods... We ended up talking for like 30 min. and towards the end she said something about OM and how she knows I won't believe this but she's not talking to him. I said well, yeah, I could have told you THAT! (He is way done w/ her!) So then somehow the conv. segues to her saying she just didn't feel cherished and treasured like she wanted and me saying that's why I thought 5LL was such a great book... We talked about that briefly and then said goodbye. Actually had to talk a coupld more times over the next few days about the kids and it was always a good conv. We really do parent well! And pretty much get along. But then she went dark.. Didn't even respond to an email I sent her about something funny D15 said that I thought she would appreciate.
Last Friday she went on a field trip w/ S11 and then took him home to her apt... He called me and left me a msg. saying he hoped it was okay. I called her Apt and talked to him; said I did have plans (was going to take him and D to the new Xmen movie) but that was okay, have fun. Asked if I could talk to Mom but he said she was sleeping. So 15 min. later she calls and is kinda terse w/ me (maybe from slping) and says she can bring him out to the house if it's a problem. I said No, it's no big deal and you guys can have some time together. BUT, I added, last Sun. you told the kids you were teaching and it wasn't on the calendar and you weren't working. I pick the kids up when I get off work at 8am on Sunday's b/c you work or teach, but YOU are supposed to have them until Sund. PM. I felt like you were kinda presumptious in expecting me to pick them up so you could go do something.. She got snitty w/ me about how I'm presumptious in thinking that she'll watch them when I'm working etc.... which is what we agreed on and is only two evenings and one overnight...

So she basically said if there's nothing else GOODBYE.
Well, Sat morning I had to call her about some issues w/ D15 and we were discussing that! I could tell she was still kinda snarky so I just pretended everything was fine and asked if she and S had a good evening and said D and I went out to dinner and it's probably good for them to have some time alone w/ each of us! She agreed and you could hear her tone soften. So we talked about D a bit... Then I said, let me ask you something... She said okay....
I said, you know a few weeks ago you said you didn't feel cherished/treasured etc. Is that how you REALLY feel? (she's said variations of this before) So she says YEP, that's how I really feel. I said so that's what this is ALL about, you not feeling cherished and that's why we're divorced, bottom line?
She says, yeah, bottom line.
(now I'm thinking, okay, reason #214!)
So I said, you know there are a lot of people that have said they can tell I loved you very much and that are impressed that I was trying so hard to save my marriage, how could you think this? She got a little testy and said "WELL THEY DIDN'T LIVE W/ US!" I said true, but you know for the past 14 months I never once wavered in letting you know I was open to reconciling even when you were carrying on w/ (OM) Does that not tell you something about how solid and mature my feelings are, they aren't just puppy love infatuation that turns tail and runs? (like OM did ) She then went into the whole "now isn't the time to have this conv., I've got to get going and S11 is here.
I said okay, it wasn't my intention to start a deep conv. I was just curious if that was how you really felt. I'm sorry you feel that way. Do you want to continue this convs. some other time? She said yes... so I said "well, I've always told you I'll listen to whatever you have to say, so just let me know when you want to talk" she said okay and I said gotta run, have a nice day.

Now the question is, did I do good DBing? And what is this all about? Is this something she wants to talk about and work around (eventually) Or is this just her being confused?
And it really seems she is detaching. Spends very little time at the house w/ the kids anymore... Either takes them out or back to her apt...
Oh, and for the 4th monthh in a row the CS check is over a week late. I don't say anything, I don't need the $$$. Thought about asking if $$ is tight (I think it is) but figured it wasn't my prob!!!
You thoughts?

Hellbent...