I can definatly feel myself detaching from my W. She moved out about 6 weeks ago and I am finnally just sitting back and trying to enjoy life again. It seems like the more I want her back the more she doesn't want to come back home. So for now I am just kicken back. I am starting to look at things differently I think I have been in a fog for 15 years. I love my W she is who I chose to spend my life with a long time ago, but now I am starting to see her for the way she really is. I think that when you are in love you don't see things that clearly. Seems like you get infatuated with a person and they can't do anything wrong and you just accept it and move on.
Now that I have been seperated for awhile I see things about my W that I never knew were there. I never realized how much she is like her mother. Her Mom was a serial cheater, until finally one day her Dad had enought and they D. He stuck it out with her though until they kids were in college and out of the house. After knowing her parents for the quit awhile I know she grew up in a non loving home. I was raised to be kind to people and treat others the way that we wanted to be treated. She was not raised this way. Everyone in her family is only concerned about themselves.
I don't reget the last 15yrs, nor would I change any part of it. I have to beautiful daughters that I love with all my heart. I just want to instill the same family and moral values that I have into them. Someday they will have to face tough decision in life, and I hope and pray that they make good choices for themselves.
This has been the toughtest thing in my life up to this point. I don't know what I will face in the future but I know that I am ready for it. You can't stand on the mountain tops without going through the vallies.
Married 11 years, together 15
Two Daughters 6 and 2
D-day Jan.14 2006
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