Quote: Do you think I'm still taking it too easy on him?
Personally, I don't think you can get someone to be more loving by pounding on them. My bf and I had a "come to Jesus" talk yesterday and after going around and around while he turned on what I call "the fog machine" (meaning he talks and talks but there really is no content), he admitted that two years after stopping drinking, he still feels like a baby chick that has newly hatched with the wet feathers and blinking into the sunlight. He didn't actually use these words, but he conveyed to me that he struggles with his addiction and his pain every day... I guess what I'm telling you is that it's hard for us to comprehend the level of pain that these men are coping with every day. He asked me to have even more patience... but he said if I can't (meaning that I would have to leave), he would understand. THAT broke my heart...
I'm not one to use punitive measures to encourage another to soften up and open up. But truly it is hard to know when you've had enough.
My bf fully expects me to walk out on him just like his ex-wife did. Your H probably expects you to screw him over like his ex's did. I guess love, patience, and acceptance is the only way to get past that.
I'm tired of being patient. And the thought that it may be years before I see any progress in this R, makes me unspeakably sad... but I don't know what to do, so until I do, I guess I'll just be patient some more.
