To answer your questions: 1. his other 2 marriages were disasters in every way from the beginning. In his first M, they were very young, I dought that she had the maturity to deal with a sex problem. She problably was to inhibited herself to have a straight talk with him.
It is my opinion, that her anwer was to have an affair. The affair began very early in the M, and continued until he caught them together in their own bed. In fact, a few years ago, he learned thourgh DNA testing that the two children born during their M, were not his! (thats a long story) anyway, The counselor and I find it very strange that an affair can occur, right under your nose, for almost 9 years. But I believe this is true. He describes his reponse to catching them, and it sounds like shock.
Thank you for the encouragement I probably needed to stop protecting his delicate senses. I will resolve to go forward with being myself. I actually started this plan of action on my own, but hearing it from the C and reinforced by this forum, has strengthen my determination. I WON'T BACK DOWN AGAIN1
We see the counselor together in 3 weeks. In the meantime, I have purchased to book "Sex for Idiots" , It sounds awful, but it has easy to read, specific info regarding the male body, female body, normal sexual response and so forth. I Pre-read it and made comments in the margins. In other words, the usual way to use this book would be to read it together and discuss, so considering his hesitance to do this, I made it easy, this time. I also warned him that the next step was to talk about this together. I want to know what he thinks, likes, doesn't like, understands or doesn't understand. Do you think I'm still taking it too easy on him? I havn't seen him even pick up the book yet? Its been 3 days since I told him about it. He is the master at avoidance. Even the "exercises" the councelor sent home took him forever to do. In fact, I clearly explained that the were to be done together. but the last two, he didn't do until right before his appointment, and I wasn't even there to discuss anything, And I don't think the C knows this, ...What I cheat.... But I'm just as tricky as he is, and now that I'm on to his tricks, I won't give up.
I love him too much to let this ruin our M.
Thanks again for your encouragement. If your interested, I'll let ya'll know how the next C session goes.
