I agree with Me2. Your wife is very lucky. You said before that looking for affection outside of your marriage or even threatening it is out of the question for you. I thought it was for my H, too. I would have bet my life on it. Now my life is forever changed. The pain will always be there on some level. I know we will make it, we are making it, but the A will always be there to some degree no matter how hard we try to push it away.
No matter what I did to contribute to the failure of our M (and his A did mean our M was a failure at that time), it is nothing compared to cheating! All of the other stuff could have been worked out, was being worked out. Breaking vows, lies, deception, betrayal are never truely "gotten over." We just learn how to live with it.
Heads up, Andy. You're a good man, not perfect, but certainly a good man.
