Hi guys...finally back...it finally got me - and how. Family has been sick for darn near 3 weeks, thought I'd been spared....anyway -
Been thinking about your OR talks Andy, and I dunno if it's just me or if anyone else noticed that it sounded a whole lot like the last one y'all had....and it sure sounds like she's still blaming you and even tho she says she does not resent you, I beg to differ.
************************************* "She gave me a litany of actions (mine) that have consequences (her word) today. She insists that she doesn’t resent these things or blame me for our current sit, but is only trying to make me understand how we got to where we are.
She has the perception that I have unresolved issues which she can’t identify, but that I need to resolve." *************************************
She keeps bringing up the same things...and I know you will say "rightly so", but I also know you have to agree that at some point, she needs to get over it. (OMG, did I just say that?-if that isn't like the pot calling the kettle black, eh Kent??!!) I ALSO know that you know that you cannot do it for her. No one can.
I hate to say this, but does your W know just how lucky she is? To have you, I mean. I know it has not always been a picnic with you - and some times it downright SUCKED...but here's the thing....YOU DID NOT CHEAT ON HER. You may have ignored, pulled away from, resented, made her feel useless and not needed....but, at least IMHO, I feel that those are not nearly as bad as broken vows, your spouse having sex with another, or your spouse telling another person 'ILY', and etc. etc.
I know it is in no way my 'job' or even my business to sound as if I'm belittling how your W. I do not mean to and I am sure she is more than justified in how she feels, as you have attested to many times, but I just hope she knows what she has, and could have....before she no longer has it.
To that end, I give you credit Andy. Credit for being faithful and not bailing out, I am also sorry if I sound cynical here, but you are a rare breed (and you Kent). Sure, the grass is always greener, I know. I know there are a lot of people who would trade what I've been through (A) with what they've been through (abuse...).
Just wanted to get that out there.
L
p.s. btw guys, I also know that you are not perfect either....didn't mean to make it sound as if you were blameless, cause I know (all too well-just by looking at myself) that you are not.
