quote:Originally posted by KentS 08-15-2001 08:09 PM onAndy's Story: Are you my brother-in-law? Our W's could be sisters. I had similar experience after 7 years of M. I ended up in the same hole you did.
But though our paths have been different, I don’t think our views are as different as may appear in my posts. I do choose to spend my time with W having fun and offering affection. And, if one thing has changed, it’s that W has fun with me.
That leaves affection.
I offer it. She rejects it. Why? Well, my W considers the past 10 years of our 22+ year relationship to have been on my terms and my terms alone, and as the title of my thread implies, I think that that aspect of our past has to be buried. I cannot bury it for her. Only she can do that.
quote:Originally posted by KentS: I know all about the waiting game my friend. Been at it Since Oct of 2000. You survive by finding joy in other places. It does not mean you pull away from W. It only means you take care of yourself.
Funny. I’ve been at it since Oct of 2000, too. Of course, I wasn’t doing a very good job of it since that’s when my depression started, but even before I discovered DB, I found out that I couldn’t push things. Also, since I was depressed, I couldn’t find joy in anything. But, that’s changed too. I do take care of myself. If I didn’t, then I most certainly wouldn’t be posting in the piecing forum!
So, the waiting game continues. The most recent development is that W has indicated that she considers us to be on the same team. She says she’s open to suggestions, and wants to keep the lines of communications open.
What I have to figure out is how to make my needs known to her w/o looking like I’m trying to get OR back on my terms.
The waiting game doesn’t finish with a siren or a referee’s whistle. It has to fade out, along with the bad memories of that past.
