Loretta,

Wow!! you are such an inspiration!! I have been lurking on thr newcomer's forum since just after the bomb on March 12 & dbing since March 15th. Short story - H in EA with OW @ work, he traveled almost none stop for thr past 2 years, confessed to 2 ONS,addmitted to sexual addiction problems and lack of knowing how to be intimate although he wants to be, said he wanted D ASAP (still loved me but not in love deal). No kids/ married almost 7 years/H 32.

I started DBing my BUTT off and it started working with my 180 but then he got scared that it wasn't real because OW was whispering it in his ear at work. H left for business trip last Thursday still asking me to get his bill together & such so he could move out when he got back.

Monday he called me Crying & said he was so confused. OW was pushing him to "choose" while I was acting "as if" & going on with my life. I let him talk & listened to him more than I think I ever had. I felt so sorry for his pain & know that I hadn't help with my resentment over the years (I knew about ONS but he always lied about them and other things too so I withdrew)

He asked if I could take friday off to spend some time with him & we could talk. I told him Tuesday that I would do that. He was very happy.
Tuesday night he called me and in the middle of the conversation said "ILY". I alsmost cried - haven't heard it since bomb dropped. I stayed strong. He said that He was falling in love with me - again but it was so much more intense than when we first were dating. But he said he was still scared that it wasn't real. He said he didn't want to move out and wanted to stay married.

I was so happy but also concerned about OW at work. I asked him if he thought that would be a problem and he said that he was begining to see who she really was and he did not like it - what he had liked was the attention.

He calls me just to say he is thinking about me & can't stop. It feels so good but I am still apprehensive that come monday when he is back to work with her she will try to "sway him". He has been trying since the first of the year to get a new job but no one is really hiring in his field so unless we go down to 1 income he will either be ther with OW or he will be on the road - neither of which I feel will help our relationship get stronger.

Should I push the OW issue or just be happy with what I see improving & take it one day at a time? I have found from reading your thread & some of the others that my H is a very big "affirmation" person as well. I never realized how much a simple "Thank you" meant to him until I started really appreciating what he was doing good instead of bad.

I think the Divorce is busted but now comes the patience & persistence time. I cannot afford to backslide with a 21 year old OW possibly waiting in the wings for me to fail. SHE WILL NOT GET MY H!!!!

any advice would be greaat Loretta - and others. It is so cool to feel the "tingle" again when I talk to him!!!! [Big Grin]