Testa and Rapunzel, I just read your advice about the vase. I should, have taken Unfortunately this new problem developed. I had a great weekend with friends, kids and family. H went to a cottage up North with 2 male friends he called on Saturday night to touch base. I was busy getting ready to go out and happy to hear from him but cut him off quickly. I thought he might come home Sunday night with flowers. When he came home Sunday all hell broke loose because he showed up at 8:00 never called to say he would be late. States he never even thought about it. He was in a happy mood happy to see us and I got really angry because he didnt call. I know according to DBing rules I blew it big time. Then I asked him were are my flowers, he said I havent had time to get them I wasnt anywhere to get flowers, coffee shop, gas station.
Monday he couldnt go to work because he was upset that I felt he was doing something he wasnt and didnt trust him. He had been out to run some errands and guess what the vase was still empty. He didnt think about it again. I said you are deliberatly not getting me those flowers because it is something I want. It is a small way you could show your appreciation for me. I gently put the vase in the garbage with him watching and he said why are you doing that. I said lets just forget about it. He took the vase out of the garbage put it on the counter and said I will get you some flowers.
Tuesday he also stayed home because he was upset Monday night because D went after him for not calling on Sat and Sun. She didnt know he called on Sat. He got mad I started crying and I guess I finally couldnt keep a happy face on anymore and had to let it all out. He couldnt comfort me, I just got made I said to him when you were depressed crying what did I do I put my arms around you held you and told you it is going to be alright. I never made you feel bad for your feelings. I asked him what OW had to give him that I wasnt. He said not a thing. He asked me if i wanted him to leave. I asked him if he wanted to leave. He said no this is my home and I love you and want to stay. It was a real cleansing for both of us and I hope all this bad Dbing is heading in the right direction for me. Because I am strong now and am demanding things I never would have before.
Tuesday I worked half a day H and I went out for lunch. He compained how much I was costing him, I let that go. He laughed had fun. When I got home before we went for lunch I went right to the vase. It was empty. I didnt say anything. Wednesdy,Things seem to be back on the straight and narrow. I hope when he comes home tonight He will bring me flowers and I hope my behaviour of getting angry which is a 180 for me prevents him from being thoughtless again. Because I cant live like that anymore. Testa, Your question about the dogs sounds great Because I have totally gone against the grain I am afraid to give any advice. My relationship may not survive my the new person I have become through dbing. I hope it does because I do love him. I have been letting him know what I want. I guess this is working on the foundation of our relationship because I cant live in a one sided, selfish relationship. Thanks in advance, Loretta
