When we are talking it is better now then before. I think you are moving along slowly and this is hard but it just seems to be the way it has to be. I just finished reading DR that really helped to pull the whole picture together for me. I think I am handly things well. He is pursuing me. Actually he went to a cottage in North Bay with the boys(I am sure because he called last night when they got there and they all wanted to talk with me. I made a lasagna for all of them.)
Now that he has returned home and is intersted in working on the relationship I have to set the changes in motion that I expect from him. DR has made that job easier for me. For example the one I am working on right now is he bought me flowers at Valentines day and the small vase has been sitting empty on the counter for several days now. I put a note beside it. I need more flowers love Loretta. He never said anything about the note so a few days later I asked him if he saw the note. He said yes. But still hasnt done anything about it. He asked me to do several things for him which I did. When he came home and asked if this this and this was done. I said yes. Then I said did you bring me anything. He said OH No I forgot. I said you didnt forget to asked me for everything you needed from me. You know whatI said I would like that vase kept filled all the time. I think you could spend 4 dollars on me once and awhile to do that. He didnt answer later that night he said I feel like having a beer. He siad do you have any money I said no. He checked his pockets and came up with the change to get himself a 6 pack. I went to pick up the kids at skating he went to get his beer. No flowers. This man needs some big time lessons in giving even though he is home he is still thinking of himself. I really want to get this flower thing happening. Not so much that i need the vase full but the fact he goes out and thinks of me and gets the flowers. I will show how much I appreciate it he will like that I am happy and want to do more. If I dont get this momenteum going we are not going to make it. I may sound childish but I need it. It is not so much buying me the flowers but it is the fact that I am controlling him forcing him to do this spend his money on something else but me.
This was always a real problem with him, he was always in control of the money and since he has come home I made it clear that he has no access to my money he gives me 1000.00 per month and I take care of everything else. Otherwise he takes all the money invests it and we dont have a penny to have fun. Foster child always had to know were the next buck was coming from.
Overall he is more attentive, coming home after work, calling when he leaves work and calling me at work during the day to touch base. So he has come through on all of these items. I am just making my next move sloooowly....
Does anybody have any ideas on how I can turn this poor rich man around. Or do you think I am being childish? I give 100%, I know this is my first mistake, lunches, supper, clean clothes I never minded doing it before know I need some appreciation. And because he doesnt do any of the above and I dont want to start making an issue of that. I thought of this idea with the vase. My next move is to take him to the grocery store and walk by the flowers to show him were he can go to get a cheep punch.
