Kent, Jamesjohn, Peter, john_w, and Treesa….thank you all for your thoughtful and insightful posts! Your responses were all really goods ones…I knew there was a reason I came here…*smile*…
Kent, I have been trying to think of what H and I have been doing to “forge a new R”….I guess, basically, just treating each other better…mutual respect and appreciation…that sort of thing. Not sure that is enough to carry us over the long haul. Afterall, I thought we had that when we got married, years ago. We haven’t exactly “gotten down to brass tacks” so to speak….the details of how this “new” marriage is supposed to work..
And so I guess the fear is obvious (but, for Peter, I’ll spell it out anyway…*laugh*) I can sum it up in one word: Failure.
The stakes seem higher the second time around. Those who stood by me when H was being such a jerk still can’t figure out why in the world I would even want him back. They see him as someone who lied to me, cheated on me, and left me. These people (my son, who is not H’s, and my sister, to be precise) will throw their hands up in disgust and despair when H moves back in. Son will probably move out, and dis-own me…(john_w…unfortunately son has not forgotten what it was like when H lived with us, especially the last, awful year..).
So, these, Jamesjohn, are the black pieces of the puzzle…the ones that don’t fit… (Time to get out my Swiss Army knife and make these pieces fit…reshape them, or maybe cut out some better, prettier ones..*smile*..)
Kent, I’m glad you added that second post about (even you) sometimes having second thoughts…and about not letting feelings “drive the car”. I feel better now….I guess what I’m going through is pretty much par for the course, after the nightmare rollercoaster ride. I’ll try to concentrate on the positives, and let the goals set the stage. (Give me back my car keys.. )
Thanks for listening, and Treesa, when I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know! And Peter, Mountie posted recently on my Monkee Thread (the one that refuses to die…lol....he’s doing well!)…....Still * smile * ing….R8
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