At the beginning of the whole mess immediatley post bomb it's a HUGE mistake.
If you have an H like Lily's who committed early on to NOT divorcing AND working on the M..then OR talks are OK.
If you have an H like mine and many other's on the BB then OR talks can be DEADLY.
My H has made it clear he is not working on the M.
What I have learned is that the rules are not written in stone.
If I were to say to my H now.."so where do we stand?"..the answer most likely would be something I didn't want to hear.THEN what do I do with that info?
I do have OR talks yes..mostly initiated by him ..but they are NEVER "Where do we stand" talks. Sometimes I get the answer to "where do we stand"..but it may be in a round about way.
Pre bomb but post A discovery I "OR talked" my H to death..he hated...... it so for me not initiating OR talks is a 180
I don't tink you can say OR talks work or don't work.Each case is different...that's all.
