I THINK the divorce is busted?!!! NOW what?/

[Phoenix]

Heya TrEE. I'm kindof with Andy on the suck it up thing. Go get you some lovely smelly soaps and stuff. Have fun with yourself and the kiddies.

Let's face it, you've kept those ruby reds sealed THIS long...why shift gears out of the blue?

Ok, we got green, red & blue so far...

Anyway, take care of yourself bodacious flower. And keep allowing yourself the time to deal with everything that's got you shook up sweetie. Hugs and all that girly junk...

[Ultreya]

Hey Tree,
I gotta agree with the group on this one...

A wise one once told me..." When one feels the need to do something, that's usually the best time to do nothing. "

That green eyed monster is trying to get you to react... don't do it.

Been thinking about ya... hope you are doing ok.

U

[inmyplace]

Tree,

First I agree with those who have said to let this go. I don't know if you gain anything on this as it is a dinner with colleagues. However, there is a flip side to doing nothing when you feel like doing something. Do something when you feel like doing nothing. It seems to me that you're just going along. There is still the question of whether or not communication is occurring in your house. Also, as I posted before, DBing does say to do something different. What are you doing differently? Try looking like hell for a day or two and see if there is a reaction...lol!

Tree, I have told you before at some time, you may need to shake things up. The reason for this is that I was guy who was in a funk for a number of years. My W leaving shook me up pretty damn good. Having said that I know you would never leave in such an awful way.

IMP

[ April 30, 2002, 10:30 PM: Message edited by: inmyplace ]

[Phoenix]

LMAO! Yeah Tree! Look like hell for a couple of days. That is the greatest 180 I've seen this week! Excellent post IMP!

Hey U - better watch it. We seem to have been online at the same time like in the old days...

[darmar]

Couldn't resist. Kinda want to play the devils avocate but can't do it. On one hand he might see you asking him to not attend as positive attention. Not likey though. Probably would see it as you trying to control him. Worst thing about me and my past is I used to see that as controling and her trying to tell me what to do and like a kid in a candy store would go out and do it even more to show that I could do what I wanted. Now I realize that it was all about her just wanting to be around me, not wanting me to not do something.
So swallow Tree. The good one is having something better to do. "Oh thanks for doing that tonight, cause I can now do this"....sorta turn the green monster in a different direction. Don't think it is a game myself, just turning negative energy into positive.

[Duchess]

quote:Originally posted by inmyplace:
One thought that I have is that you drive yourself nuts calling this thing an EA. Maybe you should look at it differently. An affair takes two willing parties. Maybe call her FC (fantasy chick, or maybe you can find another name using those initials). FCs sooner or later always show kinks in their armor. But you are fretting over something that IMO will never happen.

Great advice from IMP..start referring to the EA as "FC"..just make sure you don't put any more letters in that name though

Seriously,this will be over before you know it sweetie..and I do agree with Wilma in that your emotions are raw right now..so in the words of Andy..ya gotta "suck it in"

I'll email you today.

Duchess

[ May 01, 2002, 02:07 PM: Message edited by: Duchess ]

[ANS]

Good one, dar...

turning negative energy into positive.

[ May 01, 2002, 08:15 AM: Message edited by: ANS ]

[ANS]

And, yeah...

Remember waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in my first thread? You know, the one where you were my very first poster, and helped me a lot?

Remember how everyone was warning me to be careful about OM? Remember how I refused to call him OM - he's a MF?

It kept me going. Maybe it's semantics, but when you're talking to yourself (inside your head), semantics are important for your PMA.

Haven't thanked you for a long time, tree, but in thinking about how you helped me so long ago, I just wanna say again. Thanks.

TTFN,
Andy

[inmyplace]

Duchess,

Good point, about the letter, The FC really has no part in this. It isn't fair to call her names. And it is actually one of the reasons that I think EA is inappropriate as it implies a role for her.

ANS,

I will second the motion for dar's post. And yesterday, Zebra pointed a similar thing out in his thread. And it was a message that I needed to hear. That's why we support each other.

IMP

[ May 01, 2002, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: inmyplace ]

[treesa2]

FC I like that! thanks IMP I sure do feel the "shake down" you gave me. It's been awhile! I hear your rants all the way here!!!

Thanks all very much. Andy... you are over taking me on the DB wise guy road. Shucks... no thanks needed... we are ALL here to support each other. There are days when I still sound and feel like a total newbie desperate for something that will work.
Ladies... breathing deep and slow and will not freak over dinner. New shoes sound like a good plan. It's spring now I think ( you'd never know it with the weather we've been having) Might call for some new spring colours in the lingerie dept yes?
IMP - moi? look like a hag? I am just NOT wired that way honey. The arsenal of Mary Kay in my bedroom precludes that possiblity - never mind all the matching thingys... ... although... who knows it might be worth it eh? LOL!!! A definite 180!

My biggest problem is my totally over active imagination. I just GOTTA get those murder mystery books written. It would make MUCH better use of my "what ifs" then the pacing over the dang dinner with colleagues. All of you tlaking me down has been helpful.
Dar... even you're becoming a wise guy... impressive actually! thanks.

Suck it up I will... I'll keep you all posted. It is soooooooo appreciated.