I’m really sorry that you’re feeling this way, and even sorrier of the advice I feel obligated to give you.
You’re going to have to suck this one in. In your efforts to have a more intimate relationship with your H, you have to be someone who he wants to be close to.
What would the outcome be if you asked him not to attend? Would he understand and agree? Or would he resent your jealousy, go anyway, and withdraw from you. Think he might have more of a need to confide in someone? Who do you think that would be?
I also think that you’re right. It could lead to an OR talk. You know that I think there’s a place for OR talks, but you have to be ready, and set it up. I think you’re due for an OR talk, but not this way.
I think that if you’re not there right now, you soon will be in a place where you can initiate an OR talk. For you, especially, an OR talk should be a positive thing. In other words, your H’s mind must be in a place where he’s at least somewhat amenable to improving your R. At least somewhat willing to compromize.
I know exactly what you mean about the green monster hovering over your shoulder. Like you, I think I’ve got it together pretty well, and then BAM! Something like this happens.
Happened to me this weekend, but that’s another story.
So, my advice is to do nothing overtly. Treat it like it’s your problem. Think about it as a get together of people who were working on a project. Nothing more. And, y’know? That’s probably all it is.
Like I said, I hate saying this tree. It’s not fair. I don’t like it when it happens to me, and I don’t like to see it happen to you either.
