Yeah, Wilma. You got it. Glad I wasn't too confusing in my explanation.
Like you said, the problem is that they don't want to want. I was thinking of it more in terms of I want to be wanted. My W tries to make me feel wanted, but for all the wrong reasons. She often tells me that she's glad I make enough $$ to keep our family relativly comfortable. Though that is important, it just makes me feel like money-bags.
Sometimes, she empathizes with me. She says things like "It must be hard for you when I don't react the way you want (to affection). When she says things like this, it makes me think that she wants to want, but just can't do it.
That hurts too, and perhaps that's what tree feels is missing for her too.
