When our D approached 20 she announced that things were changing. She was accepted to study a semester in Greece; she entered into her first semi-serious R and just made us spin. I was hurtin' due to undx thyroid and used D's rebellion as the excuse to drink. Ah-h-h-h, good stuff. . .made me feel terrible afterwards.
Now that our bomb has caused a rift between H and D I can only sit back and pray that they eventually build a new relationship. H is a conflict avoider so it's not in his game plan to do the bridging. D is refusing to do the bridging; she maintains it's the parent's responsiblility to be the parent not the child in this situation. I can't drink my way through this one. <sigh>
I've come to the realization, also, that our great love for our D is harmful to our R. The times that D has come home from college have caused H to retreat into his zen zone even deeper. He doesn't know how to reach her and sees her ministering to her mama and it hurts. He even asks me one time if she cared that he hurt too. I said she did but that he really needed to talk to her himself.
I'd love to be hanging my hat in this forum by the summertime. I'd love for D to live at home and feed her right, hug her lots, and just give her love. She feels compelled to join the ranks of the wage earners and the job hunting while she's stressed over us is manifesting in headaches. I need to figure out a way to get H involved WITHOUT being the bridge. I need our R to have H's committment. I do go on. . .sorry.
