I totally agree with the 'I'm not a mind reader' thing, I have told my H that many MANY times...but how does it go for the one, who used to be open and above board with feelings and emotions, to be in a place where as a result of that open-ness and above-board-ness, where it backfired and led the overwhelmed spouse to break his vows?
Did that make any sense? Because I knew my H could not read my mind, I made the fatal mistake of actually telling him how I felt, too much I now realize. He obviously could not handle it. I overwhelmed him emotionally. So, now that I have changed that, what the hell kind of OR talk could we be expected to have? A pretty shallow one at best.
Now that I don't offer the 'what's on my mind' info, he does not ask, which leads me to believe he just does not want to know. I believe he likes this much better...not to have to be burdened with all my crap.
I know how you feel about the testing Tree...much as it doesn't lend itself to any kind of relationship repair, we've probably all been there and done that, in some sort of fashion or another. Don't beat yourself up about it. It didn't work. Now you know. Don't do it again. (It always backfires/d for me) So what will work? I have NO idea. I used to think honesty at all cost...and open-ness and all that sort of stuff....well....I am re-thinking my position on that (read above-plus my last two posts, to Andy on his thread and Matilda on hers).
Anyway, sorry it didn't work out-but-did you really (REALLY) think that it would? I'm betting you knew it probably would not. Do I sense a bit of stubborn-ness here? Or is it that I can see it because I recognize it so readily in myself??!!
