Physically, I have been sick with the flu like symptom for almost a week now. I’m getting better though, but the sore throats still irritated me sometimes and I’m still feeling weak and tired. Anyway I decided to come back to work yesterday.
Mentally or emotionally, I guess it could have been worse, especially next week will be my 2nd anniversary of the day I accidentally found out about my wife’s affair. For almost two years, I’m still struggling with my marriage. Nothing much has changed since then, especially the intimacy department. My attempt of sleeping next to my wife came to an end last week due to my flu. I ended up going back to my room and sleeping there again.
I’m so tired of everything. I don’t want to come to work, but yet I don’t want to stay home either. But then again, I HAVE to come to work to support my family. My wife is still out of job and she is in the process of looking for a job. It has been 13 months since she quitted her job. I’m so sorry to vent here again.
I hope I’m not in a mid-life crisis here. That would be a disaster for my family. My kids are happy the way the kids are supposed to be and I’m proud of what they have accomplished in term of school. They both are straight A students.
It is almost like the only reason I’m still there is because of my kids. When it comes to my wife I’m numb to the bone. Now she gives me more headaches in term of her job hunting goes. Sometimes I feel like telling her to just get any job and get done with it. But no, she always comes up with all these conditions such as too far, too early, less pay…and on and on.
Anyway, I guess I’m doing fine for the mindless and loneliness person like me.
