Life has been busy so I haven't been able to reply. Thank you! for your comments. My sons are 11, 14, and 17. I work part time in my husband's office. I do most of the cleaning and all of the cooking at home. H has been doing a lot of laundry lately which really helps with 2 teenagers in the house. The boys do the yardwork and keep their rooms clean and help with chores but I do the cooking only.
I love your suggestions about leaving the house. the last time mom-in-law came I took the kids out of town for a weekend and also made H get up with her when we had a thunder storm and she freaked out. He learned then that i would not sit with her much. I cook and clean for her and get her her favorite foods but I DO NOT SIT WITH HER! She makes me crazy. H has already made statements about me hanging out with her more which I will not do. It is not worth the stress on me to do that. when she comes it is like having another child because she is so needy. Understand that this neediness is not a new thing - she has been chronically depressed for as long as I have known her. This depression seems to run in their family - one of her sisters was also very depressed (like having a black cloud around) but her children knew how to deal with her better - they basically allowed her to "stew in her juices" and not let it bother them, although they visited her and were kind to her. My H's family seem to think they can cheer mom-in-law up by catering to her every whim. IT DOESN'T WORK! and I don't usually try. I have really come to some peace about this whole thing. I will "kill her with kindness" because I am a believer but i will not allow her to make me unhappy.
