quote:Originally posted by Jen: Andy, it sounds like W still has some confusion about you, what she wants in the R, and what she is willing to give to the R. She's still trying to put all the blame on you, although it sounds like she realizes that is what she is doing.
I don’t think so, Jen. I think that intellectually, she knows and believes that I’m not the a**hole that she seems to describe. That’s why she called me. To let me know that this is not her mindset. What she feels in her unconscious mind may be a little different, but I think she heard me when I told her that I’m not playing mind games. That I regret any past sins, but cannot erase them.
I don’t feel like things are so fragile either. I will not revert to slothing around the house. Not just because of her, but because I genuinely want to participate with my family.
I’ve posted to a lot of people that they should not showcase their changes. Just do ‘em and wait for the spouse to notice. This is what I’ve done, and now that she brought it up, I explained my motivations.
She says she’s not stupid. I totally agree with her.
And no. She did not realize how the OR talk made me feel. Because, it made me feel great.
Y’see, Jen. The fact that she initiated it shows that she wants her feelings to change. And, she also mentioned that she would have brought it up earlier, but had to muster the courage.
She said “time will tell”. I’m not sure this is true. I’m not sure time will heal things or bury the past. I’m not sure what it’s going to take, but I know we’re on the right path now.
