Ok...your H has a SD, but it's not directed at you. BTDT. How are you treated...aside from the sexual issue? Is everything else basically pretty good in your R except for this?
What type of women do you feel he does find sexually attractive? Here's why I ask....I only recently discovered (after three years of working on this) that my H and I are dealing with something called whore/madonna syndrom. Feel free to read up on my threads....but basically what this means is that my H has become conditioned to believe that "sex" is something you do with someone you don't admire, love, respect....it's something that a "good" woman shouldn't be defiled with, and that you do sexual things with a "slut/whore".
Now, I'm not saying this is necessarily the case with your H...but it's definitely something to pay attention to. I didn't know this was the case until I found out that my H was looking at porn online (and completely ignoring me...and my pleas for affection) and participating on websites such as Adult Friend Finders. As painful as that discovery was (he's lucky he escaped with his life) it was the catalyst that sparked real improvement in our M. My H has/had a tendancy to look at Pamela Sue Anderson types....someone I could never be even if I wanted to (and I don't). Lets face it...Pamela Sue may be an intelligent woman in her own right, but she doesn't exactly put off the persona of being a "respectable" type of woman....obviously she fits well into the slut/whore category....just in the way she dresses and often behaves.
My H thoroughly respects me and loves me....so he's put me up on a pedestal not to be defiled. He wouldn't dare tarnish my character by doing something as dirty as having sex with a woman of my character (in his mind). The battle we're facing now (and we're making great headway) is to get him to take me down off of that pedestal and see me as the sexual woman that I am too. Lemme tell ya...it's not easy for his brain to shift into this either. It takes a whole different way of seeing things for him.
