It’s funny. I’ve given this self-same advice to so many people. Try honesty. Throw away the subterfuge. (sound familiar, Jen?)
quote:Originally posted by matilda: Good advice for me, too, huh?
Yeah, and maybe me too. Our last R discussion was 2 or 3 months ago. I think it’s taken that long to get rid of the negative aura around OR. She had commented to me that she was sick and tired about my negativity wrt OR. Is it safe to try again, or will it just look like a throwback to that? I don’t know. Gotta think on it a bit.
quote:Originally posted by Jen: Do you think this is still part of the process of your W growing in her understanding of the needs of the marriage (not just your needs)? She's come a long way, Andy, and perhaps she needs more time to come to this understanding. Maybe she's hit a plateau and needs to remain on that plateau for a while before moving on in this process.
I just don’t know.
quote:Originally posted by Jen: You just sound pretty hopeless right now, and I wish I could make it all right for you. You've done so much for me, giving me hope again when I was hopeless. Does any of this make any sense, or am I way off base?
Yeah. I feel pretty hopeless. Guess we all do from time to time. You’ve helped me too, Jen. Make no mistake about that. But you can’t make it all right for me any more than I could for you. Got some thinkin’ to do.
It all makes sense. Not just Jen’s posts, but Matilda’s and going back through all of my threads, there’s so much sage advice. I just gotta flesh out the best thing to do for the way things are now.
