Cloe, the people on this board aren't giving you advice in a vacuum. Everyone on this board has lived or is living some aspect of the situation you are facing... some for DECADES with no appreciable change in their sex lives.
The child thing is IMPORTANT and needs to continue to be addressed.
I suggest you print out Mrs. NOP's post and memorize it. It is full of practical wisdom. You might share it with your significant other.
Policing your partner is no way to live. My late husband was chronically ill and for the first few years of our marriage I nagged him about testing his blood sugar, about walking (until his leg amputation), about smoking. You must stop this immediately. Becoming your husband's mother is the DEATH of sexuality. He is a grown man and there is no way to lovingly tell someone that they are messing up their life because they're not taking your advice (at least that's what I'm told). Experiment: for one day, do not say one word to him about how he should live. Try it.
