I totally get it and completely believed this several months ago...and still do. But, what I figure after the time that has passed is that I have come to the conclusion that his problem won't go away and learning how to deal with his LD is what I really need to focus on while still working with him to work on his LD. I understand kids complicate this and divert of our attention in a big way...but I am just not willing to sacrifice any more time for our dreams (a family, etc). This LD problem does not have complete resolution from what I am hearing...progress seems to come with much hard work and time.
It comforts me and helps me to be on the BB with all the advice and encouragement. It keeps me driven to address our marital issues with his LD. I often want to give up and become very depressed about my situation, but this helps.
As a friend, and I really really appreciate your advice and how your present everything, I ask that you somehow understand my take on the family thing. I firmly believe we're doing the right thing for us. We had lots of issues going on when we got engaged and married, but we knew we had to. We couldn't wait for things to settle down, get better and recover...or else we wouldn't even be married yet and worse, we wouldn't be together! His sister would have never felt like she had to move, and we would be spinning our wheels terribly. We did the right thing then, as hard as it was having our 1st year of marriage with all that added stress. I have no regrets.
Now with the family, we want 4 kids (that may change after the 1st, I know) ... and we need to start now. Not necessarily because of me, but my husband is 31 and we want him to enjoy his kids and future grandkids one day. I know we think way ahead of things...but that's just how we are.
So, will you still talk to me and carry on sharing your wise advice with me if we just agree to disagree about this and discontinue trying to have me delay our family? I've made my decision to start trying to have a family and I know what I am sacrifcing. Just like when we got married, I knew it would be hard yet I didn't know all the ramifications. Same things with this unfortunately, I know pregnancy and taking care of a baby will complicate things (but I won't fully understand until it happens); but I feel it's the right decision for long term despite the added difficulties and distractions. I feel that when I weigh the delayed progress with our "LD issue" with having a big family like we want ... I pick the big family! Call me naive...but we only live life once. I only have so much control over the LD issue, but I do have control over the big family dream...I want to make our dream come true! I hope you can get that and appreciate it somehow.
At this point I really just need support in my helping my husband in trying to make is LD better and my dealing with all the emotions I am dealing with. I hope you're not mad at me and will continue talking with me. Your advice to continue helping my H with his diet and general well-being has given me a renewed enery to start doing this again. I need that support to keep going and not give up.
