OK...Greeneyedlass told me to tell my story here and fellow friends would start to talk to me about our similar issues...

I am 24 and am 2 years married to my 31 year old husband, but together for close to 6 years.

Dating...

While we were dating we "attempted" to wait to have sex until we were married. I know this sounds archaic...but I was young and we both saw alot of family problems and difficult childhoods as a result of "before marriage" pregnancies. This only lasted for so long...but we had a scare that we were pregnant after 1 year of dating due to my lack of education about birth control (I swear I wasn't raised by wolves!). At the time I just thought my husband (then boyfriend) just didn't want to risk getting pregnant before we got married (as we got very serious very quickly). We still "entertained" each other and showed our sexual interest to each other through other ways except "the real thing". He never really passionately kissed me, including french kissing. I thought this was different, and I had a hard time coping with this lack of passion; but my husband (then boyfriend) was incredibly sweet and compassionate in other ways. Always holding my hand, cuddling, etc.

Then 2 years before we were married both of our families were hit with extremely big problems. My husband was also in the process of moving out of downtown and into the suburbs (moving forward with the progress of our relationship). It took a year to build, and when he moved in so did some of his family that was extremely hard hit with those "big problems". Although I had my own place I spent most of my time at his house helping alot with his family and trying to get as much time as I could get with my boyfriend. Throughout all these problems, it caused a lot of stress with my husband (boyfriend) and me. Nevertheless, we knew our lives could not go stagnant; but we still had to move forward. So, we got engaged and married while still having his family live with us.

Newlyweds?

Our wedding and honeymoon was when I truly realized the extent of our problems. No sex. This just piled more stress on top of what we were already dealing with...after too much fighting I did get him to go to a therapist, but she said that once his family moved out we would be fine. She has been gone for 11 months and still no luck.

Throughout All This...

Throughout all this, I have said horrible things to my husband that I know has not helped with self confidence...I know I have not the most encouraging wife, but some times I just think I am going crazy! I am able to talk to my mom, dad (he is a pharmacist with over 30 years of medical experience) and sister about this which helps me feel less lonely; but it doesn't fix my problem, and they don't have the same problem and can't fully understand.

Babies?

As part of "moving forward with our lives" despite recovering from all the family problems, we really, really really want to start a family. So, we've been "trying" for over 6 months...no luck! But, of course, babies require sex. No sex...no babies. This has again, added to our complicated marriage. We have forever wanted lots of kids...but our problems keep getting in the way.

Now...

Finally I got my husband to get his testosterone tested, and it is extremely low. He has tried 2 treatments, and we will find out if the 2nd one has worked next month. Whether or not his testosterone levels are up or not...his sex drive is definetely not.

I know this is very long, but I was told to "tell my story as detailed as possible"...so I did. Now, I am 24 years old and strive everyday to be a good and faithful wife to my husband, but I can't help the thoughts of anger and resentment to my husband and my desire to sleep with other men. This does NOT make me feel like I am being a good and faithful wife, but I also don't want to be a miserable and resentful person my entire life.

The Next Step

After researching, my next step is to read Sex Starved Marriage. In fact, I bought two and am going to try to get my husband to read it simultaneously with me as the 1st Chapter (I read on this web site) seems to "talk to" both the "Sex Starved Partner" and the "Low sex driven Partner". I have a good feeling he will cooperate. If that doesn't help, I think the next step is to see a Sex Therapist, although I feel this will continue to beat down my husband's ego and make him feel "more broken" even more.

Can you Help?

I just need help in coping myself without going crazy. I really want to start our family...but I can't if my husband won't have sex with me. Any help would be greatly appreciated.