I'm really not doing soooo well today. Yeah, PMA ebbs and flows and in general, progress is not linear.
I'm just having difficulty keeping it all together. I don't know where to go from here.
The travel, my R... I'm just not getting what I want out of life. I've always dealt with these situations by rationalizing that it's only temporary, and that still may be the case.
But even if it's temporary, six months away from home is a long temporary. And I don't know how long it will take for W to want intimacy. As far as I know, she'll never want it.
You refer to getting back what I need (not want). In a sense, that's the biggest barrier to getting it. W once told me that she felt like I needed her rather than wanted her. To her way of thinking, neediness reeks of desperation. I guess that's why giving her space has brought me so far. But it seems like this is as good as it gets.
