ok, lets set the story straight first. i did not say use your child as a pon in this. i think you already are. i said that you should take care of you son. i also said in the courts eyes, not to tell her, that if she abandons you and son and leaves the country that does not bode well for her. theres one more thing about muddles sitch that is totally different then most others, mine included. his wife has not been physical with the om. right now its just a fantasy. if she goes to be with him, muddle your attitude will change towards her. you understand that it is very likly that they will be physical, and then you have to decide if you can handle that. let me tell you, with me, and alot of others in here, have a hard time dealing with that issue. yes, my w is back and we are doing great, but if i did not shake up the tree, rattle the cage, she would not be here. she might have later come back, but who knows when. i did not try and control her, dominate her, i TOLD her i was not going on with the current point in our r. that if it didnt change i was gone. point blank. it took her all of three days to digest this info i gave her, i did not try and make her stay, nor would i, i gave her my thoughts, thats it. and thats all i am saying to you muddle. if you are ok with her leaving, then say nothing, but if you are not, then my friend you better let her know, because if you dont, and she gets physical with this guy, are you ready to handle that. its tough to swallow, i have to remind myself everyday, thats she is back with me, but it is hard knowing out of 17 years what we had is lost, our commentment to each other and only each other. muddle i think you have an oppertunity here to speek your mind, not tell her not to go, but what you will do if she does.
