You know what, GH? I think I have been looking at this from too much of a black and white perspective. I do need to find middle ground, more with my approach to this. I think I need to tell her how I feel about making this decision. Perhaps this will give her the opportunity to be more compassionate - she has in fact been "trying" recently - and she might appreciate this. I am indeed projecting a huge amount of importance onto this, and if I do "take a stand" it won't mean to anyone what it does to me.
As far as the "trying" goes, yesterday I came home for lunch. W was somewhat sad looking and started going on and on about how much she was doing both for herself and the family. I replied that I had noticed how busy she was, and asked her if it made her feel good to be getting so much accomplished. She responded by essentially asking me if I appreciated it! I told her that what she was doing was for her, and I did notice it. She then looked at me with a really pouty look and told me "I'm really trying." I didn't know what to make of this. I am fairly certain it's her way of dealing with her guilt, but I'm not sure if she's trying on the R level for real. She has recently tried to make all of our interactions better, and she has been pursuing me, to some extent, since I completely stopped my pursuit. I'm not sure if this is a genuine interest in seeing if she can improve our M, or if it is a superficial means of maintaining the status quo.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
