Quote: . i promise you if she leaves without you telling her your point of view. she will then say well you didn't love me enough to stop me from going.
Shippd, pardon me for calling you out on this one, but you are projecting your sitch onto muddle's (and who doesn't, BTW) big time. I couldn't disagree with you more, at least in the "i promise" part. Muddle's W could return from this trip and say "muddle, you 'letting' me go was the most loving thing anyone has ever done for me. I asked you for time and space and despite how you felt about this trip, you didn't stand in my way. I now realize that I made a big mistake. Things were not as they seemed with OM and I really want to try to make things work between us. I really appreciate you letting me find this out for myself instead of trying to force me to see it. I would have resented you like hell for that and probably would still be figuring out how to be with OM right now."
It COULD go that way too. We don't know. The thing I do know is that like most of us, I believe Muddle has told his W how he feels enough. She knows he loves her and is standing by in this most difficult time, trying to figure things out. Just because he doesn't try to force the issue does NOT mean he doesn't love her or that he's not fighting. Just because he doesn't say, for the 14th time, that he hates the A, loves her and doesn't want her to go, doesn't mean she doesn't know how he feels. She does... and she's doing this anyway. It's where she's at right now and yes, he can try to force her away from "there" but then again, we ALL could try that. Many of us did that and then, when it didn't work, we ended up here, DBing our a$$es off because our experience told us this was a better way, at least for OUR sanity.
What worked for you may VERY WELL work for muddle...then again, it may not. There are no guarantees in this... or promises.
