muddle: i backed off with my pursuit with w and she did the same thing to me, keep calling and wanting to spend time with me. i never told her i was giving up though. when we had the talk almost two weeks ago, i then told her i could not any longer do this, you tried to help me and gave me good advice, but i could not listen, because my heart would not let me, i am glad now that i didnt, because of my letting her know where i stood made her think, now remember your wife may be diffenrent, maybe not, only you know when and how you would have a talk with her. i did because i could no longer continue down the road we were heading, so i let her know where i stood with the marriage, up until then for the last 6 months i never did that, i guess she figured i would always try to win her back and fix the marriage, a security blanket so to speak, that i would always be there with open arms waiting for her, i just let her know i was not, and i thru out the fantasy thing to her, yea to make her think i was giving up, because actually i was ready and willing to do just that. so what i am saying until you are completely ready to accept what ever happens do not have a r talk with your wife, but if you are ready to let go and take what ever happens from the talk then i would tell her everything you are going thru and what you have to do to become the man you want to be with out her. its too early to see if what i did worked with my r with my w, but i will tell you to do what you feel is needed to be, i could not see my wife off to goto another country to be with my cousin without letting her know what she can expect when she comes home. i would not be here waiting for her, but that is me, you have to do what you feel is best, bacause you are the one who has to live with your own decisions. hang in there man, you will find a way, like you said, you can try pretty much anything right now and she is not going anywhere.
