So, last night, I came home, got the grill going and my W sat down outside next to me and said: "Have you noticed that I haven't been depressed for the past few months?" - oh no, I sense that she's trying to get me to admit that this A has been a GOOD thing (and I also remembered reading somewhere about the OP being a way of self medicating and temporarily relieving depression), and so I respond somewhat vaguely, trying to tell her that I haven't really noticed her mood, but that I have noticed changes in her outlook. She has been far more motivated to do things for herself. To be honest, I haven't really been exposed to a happy person, but rather one who vascilates between being ok and being a bit of a raving hysterical lunatic (a little dramatic, I know, but you get my point). So I try and communicate this to her without really being in any way offensive or judgemental. In short, I didn't say a whole lot of anything. So she walks away unhappy, although she plays it off saying that she wouldn't expect me to notice because I don't care about her feelings. Ugh, overall a bad spot for two reasons: 1. I could have easily validated her, and let it be at that - we would have had a nice time, regardless of whether she thought she got me to agree to something I didn't agree with and 2. I was totally indirect in an effort to spare her feelings - I should have been either direct with my thoughts or direct about the fact that I didn't want to discuss it because I thought it would have made things worse. The worst thing, however, is that I was motivated in my actions/words by fear. Had I chosen to act out of love, there would have been no question that I could have found plenty of reason to agree with her. Again, Ugh.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
