Not a whole lot to report today. Things have been pretty calm and steady - although a few nights ago, W told me I looked like I needed a hug, and hugged me and kissed me goodnight - something she hasn't done in a while. I couldn't just take it for what it was, I was looking at her thinking - man, you must be feeling guilty for something.
On another note, I'm having some difficulty with one of her friends - one that's supporting her in this whole A thing. I have always had resentment issues because the two of them tend to reinforce the most negative qualities in each other and they have a disfunctional codependant relationship with each other. I have always resented her to some degree because she doesn't have a responsible bone in her body and when my W hangs out with her she always seems to act more entitled and like nothing matters beyond having fun. I have always felt my R with my W suffers whenever the two of them are close. I have accepted that my W makes her own decisions, so it's not really a control thing that I'm worried about (although I have no doubt that this friend is pushing the whole fantasy of being in love thing and living vicariously through it) it's more that I'm even more resentful of her when she's around now. She makes herself at home in our house, helping herself to food, taking naps on our bed without asking - really entitled, so there's plenty in her behavior that I don't like already. Now that I know about how supportive she is of my W I know I must be giving off PA vibes while she's there, and I don't really know how to address this. I had a conversation ith her regarding the A, which I posted about a short time ago - she was trying to convince me that I should give up hope and move on, all in an effort to free my W up to pursue this other R. I can't and won't come out and tell her what I think about her - I don't think there's any real need for that, but I need to control my behavior better when she's around, or make a point of not being around when she is. Trouble is, now that she's cheerleading for my W, W has her over all the time. Any thoughts?
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
