Well, it wasn't really about the plane thing - that I'm at peace with: I told her that I don't know any better than she does if it will happen. It's unlikely, but neither of us knows. I essentially told her that she could comfort herself if she wanted to, but that I wasn't going to.
The other part of the conversation, where she opened up to me regarding things she was worried about in going (one of the things was that he was trying to plan it for a week when his XGF is away - to which I told her "That must make you feel good!") was where I did very little responding. I wonder if it was more that the little hmms (space fillers that show you're paying attention) were missing and she felt like her concerns fell on dead ears. You're right - I did have the urge to tell her that I didn't want her to go, or that it would hurt me if she went, but I fought it. Although, at some point she said to me that she knew that I didn't want her to go, and I told her that she was right. At one point she even said that she wasn't going to go (kind of as punishment to me for not making her less nervous and fearful about the trip - if that makes any sense at all).
Now, the part of this that kills me - in some way I would be proud of her if she went and did this! I know it would be a big deal for her to do something like this on her own. I don't in any way agree with why, or like the idea of her doing it, but I can see the value in her following through with something on her own. It would be good for her - even better if she could apply this to a situation that wasn't so destructive.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
