In line with my post from earlier in the day - during my convo last night, W was talking about her fears - and I listened and validated her feelings. She then got a bit upset because I "wasn't saying anything" in response to any of this. I know that she expected a certain kind of response from me, and I didn't want to give it to her for reasons I already described, but should I have given some other response? I recognized all the thoughts I formulated at the moment to be attempts at controlling her feelings, and censored myself. In the old M, I would have simply told her this - that I was exercising self control because I noticed this sort of interaction was part of a bigger pattern that I think is not-so-healthy. I think this too would come across as judgemental and condescending, etc, so I'm glad I didn't say this. But I know I should have said SOMETHING. I know that she was taking a real risk trusting me - and I think she felt she had reason to regret telling me anything because she didn't get any return for risk she took. I told her that it was very difficult for me to listen to what she was talking about, but that I wanted to listen to her despite this. She still was a bit upset that I didn't have anything to say.
I guess now either SHE has to change her expectations, or she will continue to be disappointed that I'm not responding to her bids the way she expects me to. I'm not sure this is wise at this stage in the game because I think it might make her less comfortable, but it is in line with demonstrating I'm a stronger person.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
