A coupla things got me thinking today.

<<< Chorus: OH NO! >>>

matilda posted something that got me thinking about what my W’s issues where/are…
quote:
Originally posted by matilda February 07, 2002 03:45 PM on Getting over it (Page 3):

One thing that struck me is you said your W needs her space. That was me for many years. I had a lot of issues to deal with and I felt like I needed to be alone to do that. It's hard to look back now and see that that was me. I'm so different now. I want to share everything with H. Hopefully, your W will work through her issues and get to that point also. Do you know what her issues are, what she is struggling with? I couldn't tell my H for a very long time. When I finally did, he was the one who helped me the most in getting past it!! What a lot of wasted years!
Yesterday W and I got into a discussion about the future. W dashed every one of my dreams. None of them were realistic. We’re going to be tied to a handicapped child, putting the others through university, etc. etc. until we die.

When I brought up RRSPs (Canadian version of IRAs), she said that her mother considered them useless.

Ah. Her mother. All of a sudden, I remembered my W telling me about how her mother toiled in the home while her H worked, played hockey, coached, socialized… She also told me about how bitter her mother got, and that she (W) did not want to wait ‘til she was 55 to live.



So. There you have it. I want a future to look forward to, and W wants to live in the present, so she won’t become her mother. She saw me as an impedament to this.

The fear of becoming her mother has transformed my W into her mother. And waaaaaay ahead of schedule.

[ February 08, 2002, 04:01 PM: Message edited by: ANS ]

Andy