Quote: I had a long conversation with my Ws good friend last night . . . . I guess some of what we talked about last night got relayed to her - no doubt in the most manipulative way possible.
Muddle, I think you should strenuously avoid relationship talks with any of your W's close friends or family, for exactly the reason you mention: your words will almost certainly get fashioned into poison arrows that come flying back at you.
I think a WAW almost always feels that every conversation about the relationship with anyone else but her is a major transgression and violation of privacy. Now, of course, to the cheated husband that probably seems crazy, because this mess is the cheated husband's mess, too, and he should be free to talk about it, and the WAW should expect that he will, but it almost never works that way. Talks like this with mutual friends and the WAW's family usually only leads to more trouble and ill-will.
Soooooooo, my strong recommendation is that you pick and choose very carefully with whom you decide to share your situation and that you avoid anyone who falls into the category of your W's family and close friends.
