Muddle's Muddy Waters

[RBinBR]

Muddle, I'll agree with GH that you have to DB from a position of strength. I've recently come around to realizing that a lot of us men are losing our W's because they lose attraction for us when we aren't manly enough. If you think that might be you, then you may want to buy David Cunningham's book at www.makingherhappy.com It's $40, and a lot of his "116 pages" are somewhat repetitive, but I believe that he has a few really good ideas. You can also glean a lot of his wisdom (for free) on his email archives . I really think it's helping me in my sitch, and I feel much more confident now, DB'ing from a position of strength.

Now, what does that mean about your ultimatum? I think you should probably keep it -- you can DB while separated (I and many others on this board are doing it). If you do back off, it can't look like you're backing off, and you have to find a way to do it from a position of strength. You absolutely cannot let her see you as giving in to her desire for your cousin -- she will lose her remaining respect for you.