Andy and Laurin, I wish my H would read your last 2 posts. You both said so much!
Andy, it IS all about perceptions. I have tried to change my H's mind with words. You're right--it doesn't work. If I had put as much effort into changing his perceptions by my change in behavior, I probably would have him back by now!
And Laurin, I wish Mar/Venus had been written before I got married 26 years ago. It contains info every couple who are thinking about marriage should at least read. I bought it for my D and her fiancee and gave it to them at Christmas. It has so much info about the listening style of men, and why we women don't believe our men are listening to us.
