Hi Me2,

Nice to hear from you again.

I don’t think it’s necessary for both partners to be satisfied with the progression. At least not at a conscious level. I’m not completely sure that my W wants to “work” on OR. However, I’ve made a conscious effort to stop the game playing. She noticed it too.

quote:
Originally posted by ANS December 14, 2001 01:52 PM on Bringing the Walls Down with a Teaspoon (Page 2):

I brought up the control issue. Told her that I read somewhere that marriages often come to a point where they are characterized by a struggle for control. I don’t want OR to be like that. I told her that’s why I’m making such an effort to not be controlling. I mentioned the occasion when she told me I was a controlling person. W denied having said that, so I quoted her: “You’re a controlling person, and always have been.” She thought for a bit, and had to admit that this was the way she felt. She also noted that neither of us has used “emotional blackmail” for quite awhile.

So, somewhere along the line, we stopped playing the emotional blackmail “game”. She didn’t notice it until I brought it up, but the finger pointing had stopped.

So. Where does that leave me? I’m still solo-DBing, but W is more receptive to it – without game playing.

Dar,

I got a question for you…

True or False. A person hears only what they want to hear.

[ January 28, 2002: Message edited by: ANS ]


Andy