Again, my .02 worth. You are in a different phase of DBing at this point. You're W has admittedly ended the A, has committed to working things out with you, has told you that you can expect openness and honesty from her! This is a completely different phase altogether. She has told you these things. She has also told you that she expects directness from you, rather than silent brooding. Am I missing something?
The point is GH, DBing for others on this board is a wee bit different becasue their spouses haven't even reached that stage yet. You are on a different plane....piecing if you must attach a name to it. Your goal is different in that your not trying to end the A (it already has, from what you know and what you've been told) you're both trying to move past it. Opening up and telling her what you think, feel, etc. is what is expected.
Let me put it to you another way....if you don't be straight forward and direct, you know, just know that your concerns will be manifested in some other way....e.g. passive/aggressive behavior...Is that what you want?
Look, all I'm saying is that your W has expressed to you that she expects you to be direct. Give her what she has asked for...tell her, in non-confronational terms, what bothered you and why.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
